Danny Breslin

How it is…

1984 – Funniest Review

Orwell

I decided that the time had come, I had to read George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty Four. I went to Amazon to order the paperback, that is strangely cheaper than the kindle version, and into the basket it went. Browsing through the reviews I noticed that there were some that were only one star. Now you’ve got to be pretty disappointed with a book to only give it one measly little star, so I had a read to see what the problem was. Just look at what I found, this had me in stitches:

“Do not buy this book if you’re expecting to find out anything at all about 1984, as this writer seems to have been living on a different planet.  I was trying to do a bit of research into the influence of New Wave on cross-over dance music in the Mid-Eighties, but I found “1984″ a complete waste of time…  Jackson’s “Thriller”?(the soundtrack of the summer, and the biggest selling album of all-time) – not mentioned; Frankie Goes To Hollywood (their breakthrough year leading to world pop domination) – not a whisper; Style Council? (Not Paul Weller’s finest hour, but still an honest nod to the white soul roots of Mod culture) – you’d have thought they didn’t exist if you read this book.  Nik Kershaw? Ray Parker Junior? Sister Sledge?  Nope, nope nope.  Instead this man seems to have moped around in his room and at work, watching some kind of depressing news channel (was his remote broken?  This isn’t explained – but you’d have thought they’d have had MTV on at least one of the channels in his office).  Orwell completely fails to capture the uplifting vibe that was the pop explosion of the summer of ’84…  maybe he lived in Norwood.  0 Stars.
Oh, and don’t read “the Road to Wigan Pier” either, as we drove around for ages last August Bank Holiday before asking a traffic warden, who said that the sea was about 30 miles away, by which time it was too late.  I don’t think Orwell had actually ever been to Wigan.  What does he do – just sit in his room making this stuff up for kicks or something?  0 stars also.”

 

Brilliant!

November 20, 2013 - Posted by | Reviews | , , , , , , , , ,

12 Comments »

  1. I wish the guy would quit beating around the bush and just say what he thinks…..Wow, I would never wish that critic on anyone.

    Comment by richardmax22 | November 20, 2013 | Reply

  2. That has to be one of the funniest spoof reviews ever. I wish I had written it. Simply priceless.

    Comment by Christopher Meade | November 20, 2013 | Reply

  3. Tough critic… wonder if he has written any books.??

    Comment by bulldog | November 21, 2013 | Reply

  4. Oh boy! I’m trying to imagine the expression on Orwell’s face…! Thanks for putting this up here Danny… put a smile on my face! :)

    Comment by mj | November 21, 2013 | Reply

  5. hahahah!!! spoof reviewer or ding dong? LOL
    funny post, Danny!

    Comment by Denise Hisey | November 24, 2013 | Reply

    • I have to believe that he’s joking, the alternative is too ludicrous to contemplate.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | November 25, 2013 | Reply

      • One could only hope…but sadly, I have seen/heard as ludicrous before.

        Comment by Denise Hisey | November 25, 2013

  6. Hahahaha! Oh my goodness, this is brilliant! So, what he’s saying is that if I read 1984, I won’t find out anything about the year of my birth… Oh the trauma! :P

    Comment by gina4star | November 26, 2013 | Reply

  7. Hmmmmm….. even the collies are speechless…..

    Comment by colliesofthemeadow | December 10, 2013 | Reply

  8. oh that is hilarious! The best review ever, thank you for sharing that, I’m still smiling now (and thank you for the follow Danny)

    Comment by debhuntinbrokenhill | December 13, 2013 | Reply

    • It’s brilliant isn’t it? I had to read it twice to be honest.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 13, 2013 | Reply


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