Danny Breslin

How it is…

Love Thy Neighbour

piano

Christmas is coming, a time of peace and good will to all men. I’ve decided to practice what I preach and not go round and stick my neighbour’s power tools up his back passage. This is despite the feeling of personal satisfaction this would give me and the peace it would bring while I’m trying to get some work done.

Time for a story I think. It reminds me of something my mate Frig told me which made me laugh at the time and once or twice since when I think about it. By the way, I’m not talking about the Norse goddess who was married to Odin, I just thought I’d point that out to avoid any confusion. Frig is the nickname he’s had since we were 11 or 12.

Frig lived next door to a music teacher; nearly every evening this chap gave private piano lessons to children who, it sounded like, used their fists instead of their fingers to hit the keys. Frig never once complained though, as long as the racket stopped at a reasonable time he let them get on with it.

Now there is one thing my mate enjoys on a summer afternoon and that is getting out his deck chair and drinking a cold beer while listening to the cricket commentary on the radio. Why not? He’s worked hard all week, this is his downtime and it’s not even on that loud. So he’s sitting there listening to the match when the music teacher pops his head up over the fence and says “Excuse me, could you turn that off? You’re invading my personal space.”

After putting up with all the noise of the less than prodigy-like students and never complaining once, I think Frig was a little annoyed. He opened one eye and looked at the neighbour and growled “F*** off or I’ll kill ya!”

Within a week a For Sale sign went up and the house was quickly sold. Frig hasn’t heard a piano played since.

Hit the comments button and tell me: what have your neighbours done to make you want to commit murder?

PS Come back tomorrow because I’m making an announcement – don’t miss it!

December 10, 2013 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , , , , ,

25 Comments »

  1. LOL… my neighbors don’t do things to annoy me. After all I have a pack of collies and one you let them loosefor an hour during some annoyance it always stops… :) Can’t wait for your announcement.!!

    Comment by colliesofthemeadow | December 10, 2013 | Reply

    • A private army eh?

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013 | Reply

      • Sometimes when they get done it looks like a army has been through…. LOL

        Comment by colliesofthemeadow | December 12, 2013

  2. Have a baby.

    Comment by john zande | December 10, 2013 | Reply

    • Thanks for your input John but I think I might pass.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013 | Reply

      • You’re not the woman you used to be, Danny

        Comment by john zande | December 10, 2013

      • Lol. I suppose I could have the operation to become a woman but I reckon it must hurt to have your mouth widened and your brain shrunk.

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013

      • I am not getting within 10 miles of that comment… You’re on your own, Pommy

        Comment by john zande | December 10, 2013

      • Yes, I instantly regretted it. Maybe no one will notice and I’ll be spared the shit storm.

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013

      • :)

        Comment by john zande | December 10, 2013

  3. Sounds like the elderly lady who waddled down to her dock while I was fishing. Being a very wealthy looking lady holding her poodle she said, “Sir, sir, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t fish in the water around my dock. (I was moving my boat along the shorleline, making two or three casts by each dock.) I felt like telling her the same thing, but settled for, “Why don’t you go call the police and I’ll wait around for them to arrest me.” “Well!” she puffed and walked away.

    Comment by richardmax22 | December 10, 2013 | Reply

    • The water around the dock doesn’t belong to her the cheeky mare. It’s the poodle I feel sorry for!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013 | Reply

  4. :lol: What a nerve!
    Our neighbors sleep all day and wake up at night to do all their housecleaning – arguing – bathing etc between 12:00 – 6:00 in the morning! Result: we are moving out! :-(
    Hmm, I wonder what the announcement is going to be….!

    Comment by marina kanavaki | December 10, 2013 | Reply

    • My newfound even temper would be severely tested by your neighbours. In fact no, I would have to get them removed!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013 | Reply

      • We tried everything from the law to voodoo… in the end we decided that our peace of mind and health were in danger, so leaving is our best bet. I can only say this: we are musicians and have recorded 3 albums so far in this house WITH HEADPHONES, so that we don’t disturb anyone!!

        Comment by marina kanavaki | December 10, 2013

      • Some people are just wrong all the way to the core. Hang on…voodoo?

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013

      • joking! :lol: Not in me! But you know when you wake up in the middle of the night (multiple times!) the brain starts thinking weird things! Completely agree on ‘wrong all the way’!! :lol:

        Comment by marina kanavaki | December 10, 2013

      • Thank heavens for that! Wouldn’t want to upset you if you’re going to start shaking rattles and beheading chickens etc.
        With some people though you have to communicate in a language they understand. In the case of your neighbours I’m afraid that would mean getting medieval.

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013

      • :lol: :lol: :lol: hence leaving is the only sane thing to do! ;-)

        Comment by marina kanavaki | December 10, 2013

      • My friend, sanity is so overrated… 😈

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013

      • …probably so!

        Comment by marina kanavaki | December 10, 2013

  5. Ha! Frig (not the Norse goddess) sounds delightful.

    Comment by Kim | December 10, 2013 | Reply

    • Oh he’s a little monster bless him.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 10, 2013 | Reply

  6. I had one neighbour who told the council that I had three large dogs, because she wanted to be moved. I got letters about that and everything. All I had was a cat.

    I look forward to your announcement tomorrow Danny.

    Comment by Christopher Meade | December 11, 2013 | Reply

    • A cat that does impressions? Like a feline Rory Bremner.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 11, 2013 | Reply


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