Danny Breslin

How it is…

Water Fights

Some of you seemed pleased that I was the butt of the joke in my post about being attacked in the graveyard. You nasty gits!!!! Right then, if it pleases you to see me on the receiving end then I will share a memory with a similar outcome, so you can mock me some more.

When I was in the Halls of Residence during my first year at university we used to have inter-flat water fights. The block was divided into eight flats, all with a communal kitchen, two bathrooms and either 5 or 6 bedrooms. Everyone in our block got on really well and most of the time we just left the flat entrances open so we could wander in and out visiting each other. I would usually do this at meal times when I could smell someone cooking. In this way I only had to go food shopping once that year because everyone else was feeding me.

I think it was someone buying a super squirter water gun that started it, or whatever they are called, and deciding it would be clever to squirt people at will because nobody else had one to squirt back with. That didn’t stop retaliation though; within minutes everything that could hold water became a weapon. It soon became a nightly ritual that at some point someone would throw water at someone else and water fights would break out all over the block.

I regularly carried two saucepans when walking around – just in case! It came to a point where people would stop knocking on my door because I would just open it and throw water over whoever was stood there as a preemptive strike: aggressive defence! Perhaps you could say I was the Israel of water fights. This had to stop when the TV Licence Inspector complained about his soaking after knocking my door, but what did he expect? They have no sense of humour.

The carpets on the stairs had begun to stink as they rotted, the electrical wiring was in danger of shorting out and the whole population of the building had been threatened with eviction if it didn’t stop. We called a truce.

My mom, rest her soul, used to phone me every sunday morning without fail; just to make sure her little boy was ok. I ususally wasn’t ok on a sunday morning but you have to put on a brave face despite the crushing hangovers.

Two weeks after the truce all was quiet (and dry) in the halls and my dual saucepans were back being used for the purpose the manufacturers intended – people using them to cook for me. A shout came up the stairs that my mom was on the phone but this sunday I was still in my pit. I jumped out of bed and put some shorts on before running down the stairs to the payphone in the lobby.

Standing there in just my shorts and rubbing sleep out of my eyes I never heard nor saw Leeds and Beady come out of their flat carrying the bin full of cold water. They must have been planning it for a while because there was no way they could have filled it while I was talking. Scumbags! I don’t know how many gallons those things hold but it seemed like quite alot as it was tipped over my head. My blessed mother nearly had a heart attack as she heard me screaming down the phone.

Still, it woke me up eh?


March 18, 2013 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , , , , , ,


  1. Sigh! Your post evokes warm (or cold?) nostalgia. Well, here we are trying to have some little leftover fun as ‘sensible’ adults. 🙂

    Comment by mj | March 18, 2013 | Reply

    • You must try to hold off the onrush of adulthood as long as possible, losing the sense of childish fun from your life can only do you harm.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | March 19, 2013 | Reply

      • Yeah, that is right! Sadly, it’s a losing battle once you have a son ready for college and his own water fights… but I do try to remain youthful in thoughts and ideas.
        Your story helped dip into a hidden fountain of youth. 🙂

        Comment by mj | March 19, 2013

  2. Did it cure your hangover?

    Comment by Clowie | March 18, 2013 | Reply

  3. Oh this was so good… glad it never happened to me…

    Comment by bulldog | March 18, 2013 | Reply

  4. Obviously young men are the same world wide. I had friends whose minds so spilled over with devious tricks, I don’t believe their brains had any room for other thoughts.

    Comment by richardmax22 | March 18, 2013 | Reply

    • I think maybe we had the same circle of friends.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | March 19, 2013 | Reply

  5. Laughed out loud! Thanks 🙂

    Comment by Alison | March 18, 2013 | Reply

    • There is no better compliment than that….thank you!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | March 19, 2013 | Reply

  6. The inter-flat water fights seem to be a tradition in Halls of Residence!!! Yep! I remember from my first year studying at Middlesex Poly [now University] – London, as I also remember the stories about a ghost in the Mansion House on the Hill [next to the Halls], so I would never mock you!!! 😆

    Comment by marina kanavaki | March 18, 2013 | Reply

    • I never knew you spent time at Middlesex, that’s Hendon isn’t it or around that way? I’d like to know more about that ghost, would you do me a favour? Drop me an email and tell me about it, I love stuff like that: dannybreslin@mail.com

      Comment by Danny Breslin | March 19, 2013 | Reply

  7. Did you ever have time to study Danny?!!! Just askin’!!!

    Comment by Yaz | March 19, 2013 | Reply

    • Study? I didn’t need to study! Well maybe in 2nd and 3rd year I did but 1st year was about self-destruction and general mayhem.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | March 19, 2013 | Reply

  8. Talk about a rude awakening! That’s certainly one way to shake off the hangover dolldrums though… I can just imagine your poor mother on the other line. Hysterical!!

    Comment by Audrey | March 19, 2013 | Reply

    • Best cure for a hangover, but not to be recommended for those with a weak heart.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | April 1, 2013 | Reply

  9. This is so funny! Thanks for this.made me laugh loudly

    Comment by Aarti | March 21, 2013 | Reply

  10. LOL! Love it! We actually did the SAME thing when I was living in the dorms at college! Only our was a one time humongous fight, and just like you, everything that could hold water became a weapon haha! Good times!

    Comment by Beauty of Freedom | April 2, 2013 | Reply

    • It’s good to meet a fellow water warrior.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | April 3, 2013 | Reply

  11. I’d hate to have been the owner of that building. I like the wise and ever gorgeous Clowie’s question, lol.

    Comment by The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap | April 3, 2013 | Reply

  12. what can I say except.. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

    Comment by colliesofthemeadow | April 15, 2013 | Reply

    • I’m glad you enjoyed it Chuck, remind me to cross you off my Christmas card list.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | April 15, 2013 | Reply

  13. […] told you tales from when I was at university, living in the Halls of Residence in the first year and annoying my friend Kate the other two years. Occasionally I’ve […]

    Pingback by Bogged down « Danny Breslin | November 15, 2013 | Reply

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