Danny Breslin

How it is…

Wrestling with Bears

I’ve told you before how I’ve played practical jokes on people and been the butt of them myself on occasion. Well let me tell you about another one that was played on me, while potentially extremely dangerous it was an absolute belter.

WARNING! For safety reasons please don’t attempt to recreate the following, it could lead to physical harm or even death!

In previous posts I’m sure I’ve mentioned that pub I used to drink in, the one that was frequented by madmen and badmen? This is a little tale from there a few years ago. There were two fellas that used to go in, builders, I’m talking big lads: for the sake of this story and to prevent me from getting knee-capped we’ll refer to them as M and B. The latter is sadly no longer with us.

Now everyone has their stories to tell, and told about them, one of my favourite stories was about M on a fishing trip to Ireland. Him and a couple of others were in a bar when one of the locals decided to have a bit of a go at them. The usual stuff about them being English – whatever! This bloke thought the fact that he only had one leg would give him a free pass to shout whatever he wanted with immunity. M asked him very nicely to stop his abusive tirade but nope, he was on a roll.

M doesn’t ask twice. He scooped the man up under his arm and with his free hand he picked up a high bar stool and carried them both outside. He sat the man on the stool and punched him in the snotter, before carrying them both back inside for a pint. Classy!

One Saturday lunchtime I was sat in the bad place with a couple of other lads when M and B walked in, they nodded to us and went to stand at the bar. While B was ordering the beer M took himself off to the toilet. Next thing I knew B came over and put a beer in front of me, “There you go Dan, I bought you one.”

“Very good of you mate, cheers.”

M comes out of the toilet and back to the bar and asks where his pint is, whereupon B turns and points at me and says, “He’s had it!”

I looked up in surprise uttering a “Waddafuh….?”

M utters a bear-like growl and comes towards me with a bear-like gait. The sun suddenly blocked out by his bear-like shoulders as his bear-like hands, the size of shovels, reach for me. As my clenching backside leaves my seat as I rise to meet the onrushing bear I had to hold my hands up and admit to the laughing B, “Fair play t’ya pal, that was a corker.”

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July 16, 2013 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Good post… enjoyed it… but I am really enjoying the book…

    Comment by bulldog | July 16, 2013 | Reply

    • Cheers Bulldog, you keep reading I’ll keep writing.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 17, 2013 | Reply

  2. I love reading your posts. Only one problem. Being a “Yank” I have to go to a translation book to figure out some of your terminologies. The same happens while watching a movie made places such as Ireland. I know they’re speaking English, but between their terminologies, and the speed they talk, for the life of me I can’t figure out what they’re saying. Of course i had the same problem while fishing a bass tournament with a guy I was allotted as a partner. He was from the south, and between his southern drawl and how fast he spoke I only understood about half of what he said. But I’ll hang in there, mate.

    Comment by richardmax22 | July 16, 2013 | Reply

  3. Sorry mate. If there’s anything you’re ever unsure of then please get in touch and I’ll translate it for you.

    Comment by Danny Breslin | July 17, 2013 | Reply


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