Danny Breslin

How it is…

Water Sports

Well, that was an experience I wouldn’t like to repeat!

I had my little operation and miraculously survived, amen and hallelujah. It was only supposed to take half an hour but as usual I can’t do anything by half so I ended up two hours on the table – a tight pipe and a big stone make uncomfortable bedfellows.

I was lying on the table before entering the theatre, a bit nervous I admit because you’re putting your fate in another’s hands. It’s the same reason I don’t enjoy flying. Just out of interest why do they call it a theatre? If you’re rolled in awake would you expect to see the surgeon with a hunchback and a crown hamming up “Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this son of York…”?

I remember the two anaesthetists either side of me, the man preparing concoctions and the woman giving me oxygen and talking to me in soothing tones. She was tousling my stubby fringe like my mom used to do when I was a kid, I found it surprisingly comforting. The man introduced some morphine to me: Mr Breslin, this is Mr Morphine; Mr Morphine meet Mr Breslin – how do you do…so very pleased to meet you. I looked up at the woman, half expecting her to break into a soft lullaby, I remember saying “Oh man, I’m so mashed!”

The anaesthetic joined the morphine in its trip through my veins and finding a home in my brain and the man said “Just drift off to sleep now.”

I smiled and said “Yes…” It was dark.

I woke up in a different room with different people around me, talking to me, telling me I was okay. I’d have to take their word for it because I didn’t feel okay, I was confused and shaking like a manquake. “It’s alright its just the gases wearing off” I was assured. I didn’t feel assured, what if it didn’t stop, it’s not stopping, I’d never be able to type again, people would call me Shaky and stare at me in the street… it stopped.

I was taken to a ward. Other men were there. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t assume my usual, comfortable foetal position because of the catheter pulling painfully. I lay there awake all night, desperate for sleep yet wracked with cramps. A nurse came up to see why I was awake and I explained to her that every time I moved the catheter was pulling my willy, “Not always a bad thing,” I told her. She laughed at that and offered to move my pipe into a more comfortable position. I asked her if she charged extra for that particular service but she assured me that wasn’t the pipe she was referring to as she moved my catheter so it wasn’t as taut. Bloody NHS!

As the sun came up over Burton on Trent she came to see me again to check if my flow was clear. It was and she removed the nasty device that had made my night so hellish. Removing the air from the balloon in my bladder with a syringe, she took hold of the pipe (the catheter’s, not mine) and told me to take a deep breath and she’d pull it out as I exhaled. Three excruciating exhales later she triumphantly held her pipe in her hands and, distraught, I held mine in mine. “How was it for you?” she asked sweetly.

I’ve been released and have not stopped peeing since I got home, every five minutes it feels like. The stone is smashed, I’m peeing debris, feels like gravel. The advice sheet they gave me said this sometimes happens. There was quite a bit of blood but now it’s just got a pinkish tinge yet every time I go my kidney aches like I’ve been punched there (and trust me I know, I’ve been punched there), it isn’t used to all this work. I might be like this for a few days. Great!

They haven’t finished with me yet. In about four to six weeks I have to go back to have the stent taken out. Back in through the snake’s eye, this time with just a local.  Looking forward to that too.

I’m sorry that I went into it in such detail but why should I go through it alone? After all, what are friends for?

 

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July 22, 2013 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , , , , , ,

25 Comments »

  1. Glad it all came out ok.. pun intended… 🙂 I have to admit I am sitting here cringing…..ouch…. a reminder to meself… drink plenty of liquids and read up on stones so I dont have to go through this. Ouch! As for the nurse…. who could ask for any better. 🙂 Praying for your complete recovery… now I am off to cringe some more…. ouch!

    Comment by colliesofthemeadow | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Cranberry juice my friend…preventative medicine.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 22, 2013 | Reply

      • tanker truck backing up full of it right now! LOL Hope you feel better soon my friend!

        Comment by colliesofthemeadow | July 22, 2013

  2. goodness! I’m glad it was successful! Be kind to you for the next little while

    Comment by mtlawleyshire | July 22, 2013 | Reply

  3. Glad you’re okay Danny. Happy healing!

    Comment by Yaz | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Thanks Yaz, I don’t know whether to cross my fingers or my knees!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  4. So, now it’s all out and gone!!!! …and exactly right, that’s what friends are for!
    🙂
    Have a great week, Danny. I hope Bones is taking extra care of you. 🙂

    Comment by marina kanavaki | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Fat chance, he can’t figure out why I’m not putting up more of a fight for his toys. He looks a bit disappointed in me.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  5. Hey, if I can post my Snip Snip Wasn’t Fun Fun, you certainly can go into every detail you care to. All kidding aside, I am so glad to hear everything went well. Though I have never had stones, I know others who have, and they say the recovery can be somewhat drug out. Anyway, hang in there, buddy!

    Comment by richardmax22 | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Doing my best, it’s not nice though. My kidney is singing to me now it has all this extra work to do.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  6. Sheez Bud what an ordeal.. and none of it was fun… the nurse could have eased things for you in some manner or other… and now back for a local… no thanks ..you put me out, I don’t want to know what your doing with my willie…
    Remember the last op I had, a small knee op.. the anaesthetists, said something like “your gonna pop off now” when he said “your…” I was gone, woke later with the prettiest of nurses next to the bed patting my face… “you okay?” she asked, I answered “lets get this op over and done with” … too late it had been done… I was hoping for all the money I paid that I could take her home with me, but no such luck…

    Comment by bulldog | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • That’s the problem with NHS nurses, as it’s free you get what you pay for – bugger all. Nurses are overrated though, they end up with fat ankles.lol
      By the way, if any nurses are reading this then please don’t be offended, it was just a joke. I’m sure your ankles are lovely.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  7. Lol. That’s right! What are friends for? So sorry for your tough ordeal! Hope things look up from here on out. I know how it sucks to go through something like that. Keep your chin up! There are bright skies ahead!

    Comment by Jessica | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Thanks Jessica, no matter what I always keep smiling.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  8. 😉 Hallelujah!

    Comment by The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap | July 22, 2013 | Reply

  9. ooooh, get well soon! sounds painful and uncomfortable, but at least it’s out now, 🙂 x

    Comment by gina4star | July 23, 2013 | Reply

    • Yeah, that’s what she said.
      I’m sorry Miss 4star, I can’t believe I just did a “That’s what she said” joke. That is so below me!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

      • hahaha, oh I actually laughed out loud! I wasn’t expecting that at all! Nice one!

        Comment by gina4star | July 26, 2013

  10. Ouch!
    Sounds like the same thing my father in law went through. He said he figured it must be similar to giving birth!

    Comment by Denise Hisey | July 23, 2013 | Reply

    • I’ve no wish to find out how painful childbirth is, but if it is similar then I take my hat off to mothers everywhere.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  11. It sounds like you managed to keep your sense of humour throughout this ordeal – glad to hear it!

    Comment by amb | July 24, 2013 | Reply

    • That’s me though, take it as it comes and laugh about it. Guess I’m not wired up right.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 25, 2013 | Reply


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