Danny Breslin

How it is…

Ashes to Ashes

I don’t like people who gloat. A bit of friendly ribbing between winner and loser is one thing but taking their dignity away, in effect kicking them while they are down, is unacceptable. Take your victories in the same way as you take your defeats: with stoicism and good grace. That’s my motto.

Plus the fact that as the saying goes: pride comes before a kick in the gingangoolies! In other words, what goes around comes around.


That’s why I won’t be waving any flags, dancing around, or shouting from the rooftops over the humiliation of Australia’s fallen heroes as yet again they are denied The Ashes. We’ll see next week if it ends 4-0 at The Oval, sending them home with their ‘roo tails between their legs. It must be so painful for them after last year’s Olympic medal haul was so paltry and seeing The British and Irish Lions savagely maul The Wallabies in the tour down under this summer. Now there’s an image; have you ever been mauled down under? How long before you could walk upright again?

But no, I won’t gloat. Despite the years of English sport being the punchline of Aussie jokes, despite their boasts, their barracking, their sledging, their contempt; we can rise above it all, we have risen above it.

Their medias’ attempt to downgrade the significance of England’s efforts, their snide attempts to blacken the name of English cricket in general and the noble Kevin Pietersen in particular, with their scurrilous and libellous accusations of cheating show that they haven’t quite grasped the concept of sportsmanship. They seem to have it confused with gamesmanship, which they are very much masters of.

They accused KP of using silicon tape on his bat to fool Hotspot; a crime for which he is innocent. This reminds me of the furore surrounding the so-called Bodyline series. They vilified the heroic captain Douglas Jardine and caused the premature end of the international career of the incredible Nottinghamshire fast bowler Harold Larwood, for bowling to the line of the body in order to beat the magnificent Don Bradman. It is never mentioned by them that it was actually the Australians themselves that first used this tactic two years previously. In fact they’re still moaning about that tour 80 years later. And they call us poms whingers?!

Harold Larwood

Harold Larwood


I can imagine my Aussie mates John Zande and Flying Bubbles grinding their teeth right about now, but lets be honest: Bubbles, you are originally from India so you know I’ve got it spot on, nobody knows more about cricket or is more honest about the game than the Indians. And John, you moved to Brazil to escape the shame of the downfall of Aussie sport….sorry I had to stop typing for a second because I was laughing so much the tears were blurring my eyes!

Australians love their sport and this beating will sting, that’s why I have no doubt whatsoever that they will come back better and stronger than ever and maybe teach us a lesson in both cricket and manners. That is why I won’t gloat, except to say: Aussies –




August 13, 2013 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , , , , , , ,


  1. Ouch! that hurt! But I’m so glad you are in on the Ashes. We in India love our religion (cricket, thank you very much) and even when we are not part of the story, we follow it. The Aussies are indeed passing through shadow valley (they look beaten, why??)…. but like I said, we love the game for it’s own sake.

    Comment by mj | August 13, 2013 | Reply

    • Yes I discovered that while I was in India, true devotion. Don’t worry about the Aussies though, they will be back to their best far too soon.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 14, 2013 | Reply

  2. Anyone who takes on the Aussies in any sport gets my backing…. and you want to know why?? ‘Cause the always come back and kick all of our backsides… maybe not today or tomorrow, but at some stage they will and then we will know all about it…

    Comment by bulldog | August 13, 2013 | Reply

    • Absolutely, they really take their sport seriously. It’s nice to get the chance to take a poke at them.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 14, 2013 | Reply

  3. Oh, you had fun writing this, didn’t you.

    What can i say, our cupboard is empty of all silverware. Our Rugby stock is useless, cricketers laughable, tennis players non-existent, swimmers drowning, Hockey players dithering idiots, and our yachtsmen are tied up to the dock. It’s been a horrible ten years.

    Comment by john zande | August 13, 2013 | Reply

    • haha I’m sorry John, it had to be done. Within the next couple of years the Aussies will be the back on top and gloating at the top of their voices again.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 14, 2013 | Reply

  4. Being an Aussie . . . . . . . .no way in hell am I gonna ‘like’ this post 🙂

    Comment by Alison | August 14, 2013 | Reply

    • Go on, admit it – a little bit funny? Anyway, I thought you were Canadian.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 14, 2013 | Reply

  5. Very funny! But . . . . .oh just joking. You can have the beeedin’ Ashes for a change 🙂

    My parents were nuts about the cricket – used to go to the test matches often, or always watched it on TV. OMG the cheering that went on when we won the Ashes! Never got into it myself.

    I’m Australian Canadian. Emigrated to Canada about 30 yrs ago. I’ve actually lived more yrs now in Canada than Oz but not by much. It’s interesting being an expat – I love Canada, but I’ll never stop being an Aussie.

    Comment by Alison | August 14, 2013 | Reply

    • I’m sure there’s a surgical procedure to have it removed. just kidding.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 15, 2013 | Reply

      • Oh just howling now! 🙂
        Thanks for the early morning laugh!!
        Off to Sweden today.

        Comment by Alison | August 15, 2013

  6. […] all my fault, I knew I should have kept my unholy gob shut! Yet I did predict this disaster, didn’t I say they’d be […]

    Pingback by The Wonderful Wizards of Aus « Danny Breslin | December 19, 2013 | Reply

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