Danny Breslin

How it is…

On the ocean wave

You wouldn’t put my Border Terrier, that little rascal Bones, in the middle of Kew Gardens and expect him not to start widdling until he could no longer lift his leg. It’s in his nature, he can’t help it, and he just loves to widdle. Similarly you can’t strategically shave an ape , put him in a tuxedo and expect him to act like Lord Doodah. So why the hell has my infinitely better half decided it would be a good idea to book us on a cruise next year? Not just any ship either, it’s Cunard’s Queen Mary 2, the poshest boat on the water.

She should know better. When we was in South Africa a few years ago we went on The Blue Train. Now that is upmarket, think butler and silver service dining and you sort of get the idea. I won’t tell you too much because it will all be revealed in my next book, but I will reveal how I revealed my bare buttocks to some Boer farmers out the window as we passed them. I still don’t know why but oh man it was funny!

So has Mrs B lost sight of my darker side and is trusting me not to misbehave? Or has she gone insane and actually believes I won’t piss in the punch bowl? Luckily it’s only a few days so I won’t spend too long In the brig.

At least I’ll get a few blog posts out of it; if it all goes awry maybe even another book?

We disembark in Hamburg, from there we are getting a train to go see her late father’s family in Poland. She’s been making excuses to them why they haven’t met me yet when they say “You must bring your husband next time you visit”. I too have been asking her why she has always been reluctant to introduce us. She won’t say but if I was a suspicious man I’d take a wild guess that it has something to do with the strength of Polish vodka.

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August 26, 2013 - Posted by | Travel | , , , , , , , , ,

23 Comments »

  1. Hello Danny thank you for following my blog and stopping by. My brother’s name is Danny and so was my P’s Daniel he was never called Danny. I bet you’ve heard the song Danny boy a million times in your life. I love the phtoot of your little dog. Precious face! Have a wonderful day! 🙂

    Comment by MichelleMarie Antell | August 26, 2013 | Reply

    • I love that song, I used to be able to sing it but I’m not sure I could hit the high notes anymore. As for that dog, looks can be deceiving. He’s a thug, a hooligan and a rogue but I love him.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 26, 2013 | Reply

  2. You have a whole year to plan ahead, Your Highness!
    I’m sure you’ll have great fun – one way or another! 🙂
    What’s Bones opinion on this?!!! Is he coming too?

    Comment by marina kanavaki | August 26, 2013 | Reply

    • I would love to take the little fella with me and I did suggest it but that idea was immediately shot down. It will be a hard enough job for her to keep an eye on me, but me and Bones together? A maritime disaster!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 26, 2013 | Reply

      • Oh-oh… I bet he’ll have lots to say about this!!! 🙂
        I know what you mean though. We have our own little tyrant princess to thank for not going on vacation and on the rare times we do, pay double the price!!!

        Comment by marina kanavaki | August 26, 2013

  3. Sounds like a great trip! Enjoy!

    Comment by Yaz | August 26, 2013 | Reply

  4. Wow, a cruise huh? Fancy! Yeah I can see you’re going to get a fair few stories out of that one. Can’t wait to hear about them 😉 You bring out my mischievous streak in me, so I dare say the way of the mischief is very strong with you too my friend! lol

    Comment by mariatothecore | August 26, 2013 | Reply

    • Oh absolutely, I think we’re cut from the same cloth. I’m not as much of a bad boy as I was in my late teens/early twenties but I like to think there’s still a bit of the old me lurking in the shadows.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 26, 2013 | Reply

      • I’ve always been mischievous, but it definitely has come out a lot more with age. I was just too shy when I was younger [sort of…]…

        Comment by mariatothecore | August 26, 2013

  5. Ah yes, the widdling… some of the collies have it down to a fine art! Now, I cannot wait to read about you on the Queen Mary II…. I’ll be watching the news everyday to see what you are up too! LOL…. As for Polish Vodka…. yes, be prepared!

    Comment by colliesofthemeadow | August 26, 2013 | Reply

    • I’m not sure the vodka is a good idea to be honest Chuck. There are a couple of “sincere apologies the next day” type incidents in my shady past following vodka sessions. I might tell you about them someday but for now I’m squirming in my seat.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 26, 2013 | Reply

  6. You lucky sod… that’ll be a terrific trip.

    Comment by john zande | August 26, 2013 | Reply

    • I hope so John, it’s been a long time since anyone has been hung from the highest yardarm.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 26, 2013 | Reply

  7. Mooning Boer farmers – too funny. Now don’t you go misbehavin’! Well not too much anyway 🙂

    Comment by Alison | August 26, 2013 | Reply

  8. I hope you both have a great time and you get another great book from the experience.

    Comment by Christopher Meade | August 26, 2013 | Reply

    • Cheers mate, if I sell enough of them then the trip pays for itself. That’s the plan anyway.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 28, 2013 | Reply

  9. Haha, I love the fondness with which you always talk about Bones! Cruise sounds wonderful, but … please don’t piss in the punch bowl!!! 😛

    Comment by gina4star | August 27, 2013 | Reply

    • Bones is the coolest dog that ever wagged a tail. He reminds me of me back in the day – a little hooligan.
      If I can give you just a little advice? Wherever you go and whatever functions or parties you attend, always steer clear of the punch – you never know if I’ve been there before you!

      Comment by Danny Breslin | August 28, 2013 | Reply

      • Thanks for the heads up, I will definitely bear that in mind… Hehe, he does sound like a little hooligan, and a little dude does Bones!

        Comment by gina4star | August 28, 2013

  10. I have been away from my blog far too long. Am no catching up on my favorite blogs, you being at the top of my list. Your wife is no different than mine. I can remember several occasions where under my breath I moaned at the revealing of some “what the hell were you thinking” excursions.

    Comment by richardmax22 | August 30, 2013 | Reply

    • Richard my old pal, you know you’re always welcome to pull up a chair on my porch and share a jar.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | September 4, 2013 | Reply


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