Danny Breslin

How it is…

I name this child…

I’m looking for Elsie. Why can’t I find Agnes, Iris, Lilly, Nelly, Betty or Beryl? Where is Gert these days?

You decided to name your children Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper Seven just like David and Victoria did; of course, the Beckhams are the height of good taste – not just chavs in Bentleys then? Ahh right, you thought it would be a good idea to call yours Bentley.

Sorry what? Miley’s a girl’s name?

I thought Blake, Crawford and Findlay were second names not first. It’s so confusing, I get mixed up. And then they tell me that Cheryl is now pronounced Shhh-eryl. It seems that now Kyle, Callum and Tyrese have moved in there’s no more room for Bert, Andy or Steve. Poppy and Pippa and Peaches have pushed out Paula.

Little Jacob, Jude and Noah are no saints I can tell you that, and…no really, you’re being serious: Miley’s a girl’s name?

I’m desperately seeking Susan but Charmaine, Chantelle and Chardonnay have never heard of her.


January 27, 2014 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , , ,


  1. Chardonnay? Really? Well I suppose it’s not as weird as Apple.

    Comment by Alison and Don | January 27, 2014 | Reply

    • It’s tantamount to abuse. The poor kid has to go through life with a stupid name.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | January 27, 2014 | Reply

  2. Lord, how true that is! Half the time I’m introduced to some younger person I find myself putting out my hand and saying, “Wha…what did you say your name is?”

    Comment by richardmax22 | January 27, 2014 | Reply

    • I’ve been known to laugh out loud more than once.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | January 27, 2014 | Reply

  3. Bob Geldof started all that nonsense with Fifi Trixibelle and Peaches.

    Comment by Christopher Meade | January 27, 2014 | Reply

    • Yeah I remember reaching for a fresh bucket every time Paula Yates gave birth. Prats.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | January 27, 2014 | Reply

  4. It’s true! The Mr and I don’t plan to have kiddos for a few years yet but we’ve already talked about the crazy names parents dole out and are opting for something a little more traditional, a little less Hollywood. Poor kids….

    Comment by Audrey | January 27, 2014 | Reply

    • Daniel Johnson sounds okay… or Danielle perhaps? 😉

      Comment by Danny Breslin | January 27, 2014 | Reply

  5. So true. Brazilians, worse than Americans, have a horrible habit of creating horrible names. I kid you not, a child here was named Madeinusa a few years back.

    Comment by john zande | January 28, 2014 | Reply

    • No way! You just made that one up!!! Lol

      Comment by Danny Breslin | January 28, 2014 | Reply

      • I wish!

        Comment by john zande | January 28, 2014

  6. As young Sky will gleefully tell you, she’s the limit~!
    Our local hairdresser (good grief) has named her wee boy ‘Reef’ (I kid you not). She’s preggers again, Spouse and I are taking bets she’ll call him/her/it ‘Midnight-Cowboy’ or ‘Battleship-Grey’ (hyphenated names are overdue).
    Thank heavens I’m an Argus, I like the classics …

    Comment by Argus | February 23, 2014 | Reply

  7. Reef? Now that’s a new one on me. Poor kid.

    Comment by Danny Breslin | February 24, 2014 | Reply

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