Danny Breslin

How it is…

Wolves Don’t Whistle

wolf whistle

This is a special entry for my award section ‘A Punch in the Face’. Usually it is reserved for individuals who have in some way provoked my ire; this time it’s for an entire group of people – those that wolf whistle.

Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a jealousy thing, I’m not bothered that nobody wolf whistles me, in fact I’m glad they don’t, it must be embarrassing being the whistlee, when everybody’s attention is brought to focus on you and, I would hope, even more humiliating for the friends(?), family and just about anybody who has ever come into contact with the whistler.

Wolf whistling just winds me up. For instance, I like 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, always good for a chortle or two. Why is it when they introduce Rachel Riley there is always some complete twat in the audience who wolf whistles really loudly? She’s a human being for crying out loud, not the object of your red-faced, tongue down to your knees, steam coming out of your ears, panting fantasy! Do you think that by making that noise she will turn around and ask you to call her? You sad little shit! Why don’t you whistle Susie Dent? Or Jimmy Carr? Okay I can see why you don’t whistle Joe Wilkinson.

Please, do the whole world a favour, next time someone in your vicinity wolf whistles, would you mind awarding them a punch in the face? Eventually, if enough of us punch wolf whistlers then word will get around that being an arsehole can be seriously hazardous to your health.

July 14, 2014 - Posted by | A Punch in the Face | , , , , , , , ,


  1. Sounds like a great idea, Danny! ūüėČ

    Comment by marina kanavaki | July 14, 2014 | Reply

  2. Now Mr. Breslin, a suggestion. You’ll remember a band called The Waterboys had a song ‘Bang on the ear’, it may be worth giving Mike Scot a call and offer your assistance in writing ‘A punch in the face’. I assume that it would be a hit or somebody would get hit at least. Peace and glove.

    Comment by murphyji | July 29, 2014 | Reply

    • Ah, peace is overrated. Not a bad idea though.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | July 29, 2014 | Reply

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