Danny Breslin

How it is…

Night Terrors

Nosferatu

Yesterday I watched 30 Days of Night. As you might know, if you have seen it too, it is a film about vampires. Interesting but not overly scary. I’ve also been watching that TV series about vampires, The Strain. Again, a good show but I don’t scare easily. On top of that I’ve also started reading the book that the series is based on. So with all that you can forgive me if my head is full of bloodsucking creatures that haunt the darkness. Not that I was scared of course…

Last night I finished another chapter of the book and went downstairs to use the bathroom, not wanting to wake Her Ladyship. My night vision and familiarity with my surroundings is good enough to allow me to move around the house at night without any lights on. Obviously though after leaving the bathroom my night vision would be temporarily suspended. No matter. I switched off the light as I opened the door and stepped into the hall. It was then that I realised I wasn’t alone, a figure loomed next to me, darker than its surrounding shadows. One thought flashed through my brain: VAMPIRE!!!

When you punch a Christmas tree you’d be surprised how much louder it is at night time as it falls and empties its branches of decorations.

That bloody woman! We’ve barely dipped a shivering toe into the frigid waters of December and she’s already put up a tree and various other pointless shiny things around the house. I’d totally forgotten it was there in the five minutes I was in the bathroom. “Well, serves her right if it woke her up” I grumbled to myself as I restored it to its former gaudy glory the best I could. I slunk back up the stairs (with the light on) to find she’d slept through the entire thing.

I detest vampires almost as much as I detest Christmas!

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December 3, 2014 - Posted by | Stuff and Nonsense | , , , , ,

19 Comments »

  1. Ha ha ha! Impressive!
    That never happens to me though as we don’t have trees at Christmas 😛

    Comment by originalapplejunkie | December 3, 2014 | Reply

    • Why don’t you? You could be the little angel sat right at the top.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 3, 2014 | Reply

      • Ha ha.. Very funny.. My dad has always said Christmas trees have nothing to do with Christmas.. So we’ve never had one..

        Comment by originalapplejunkie | December 3, 2014

      • He’s right of course. Trees, yule logs, even the date were all pagan. Early christians took things familiar to people so it wasn’t too much of a painful transition. Same reason they built churches on the sites of pagan temples.
        Still,as long as you get prezzies and a share of the xmas pud eh?

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 3, 2014

      • Don’t get presents either.. Or ‘pud’.. Used to have presents.. When I was about 15 years younger!

        Comment by originalapplejunkie | December 4, 2014

      • No presents? WTF! That’s just tight mate. Listen, why don’t you treat yourself this crimble time, get yourself something special eh? Have you read my book “Me & Gus on the Roof of the World”? The perfect gift!

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 4, 2014

      • LOL.. Nice plug.. I’ll look into it 🙂

        Comment by originalapplejunkie | December 4, 2014

      • It’ll make you laugh I reckon. I can’t buy you a xmas present obviously, but how about a bloody huge festive cyberhug? Good enough?

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 4, 2014

      • It’ll have to do won’t it!

        Comment by originalapplejunkie | December 5, 2014

      • Wow you’re hard to please. Lol.

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 5, 2014

      • LOOOL

        Comment by originalapplejunkie | December 5, 2014

  2. Good one!

    Comment by mj | December 3, 2014 | Reply

    • ; )

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 3, 2014 | Reply

      • I do hope your Christmas tree has recovered from the night fright it received. 🙂

        Take care!

        Comment by mj | December 4, 2014

      • I’m going to carry a stake and crucifix to the toilet from now on.

        Comment by Danny Breslin | December 4, 2014

  3. Thanks Danny. Hilarious! Almost ROTFL 🙂
    Alison

    Comment by Alison and Don | December 3, 2014 | Reply

    • I almost rolled on the floor gripping my chest. I should watch romcoms instead.

      Comment by Danny Breslin | December 3, 2014 | Reply

  4. That was a good start to the festive season. Have a good one anyway Danny.

    Comment by Christopher Meade | December 4, 2014 | Reply


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